Resilience
I hate that word
Totally
“The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness”
From the Latin meaning to leap back, recoil, rebound, jump, leap
Trite
Overused
Not a comfort during this pandemic
No, we parents aren’t resilient
No, our students aren’t resilient
We are coping
We are dealing
We are putting up with all the stuff
All the fake graduations
All the drive by birthdays, parades, moments
All the videos for birthdays instead of hugs and kisses
All the cancellations
All the postponements
All the disappointments
All the “you got this” crap
And, it’s total crap
In physics, resilience means the capacity of a body to recover its size and shape after compressive stresses
I have not sprung back
It’s gonna be a minute
It’s gonna be years, really
Grief is tough
How about, “I’m sorry”?
How about, “Well, this stinks”?
I would rather have the full grief acknowledged instead of the patronizing back handed compliment of
….. these young people are SO resilient
….. this class is SO resilient
…… these children are SO resilient
…… they’ll make up for it later
…… they have such brighter days ahead
Those are lies
By being told they are resilient, their voices are silenced
They are not allowed to process their emotions if they are resilient because they have already bounced back….see…aren’t we amazing people?
When people die, I write their loved one notes
Immediately
It’s all I know to do
In those notes, I often quote the shortest verse of the Bible
“Jesus wept.” John 11:35
Full humanity
Full loss
Weeping for the full pain of his friends Mary and Martha at the loss of their brother and his friend Lazarus
My Lord and Savior did not say
“Better days ahead”
“This too shall pass”
“We’re all in this together”
“Stay safe”
“You got this”
No, Jesus wept
He wept because they wept
He wept for their lack of faith, too
He wept for his own suffering, too
He didn’t tell Mary and Martha that they were resilient and would get over Lazarus dying
No, he wept with them and for them and knowing what faces us all….suffering, grief, pain
The Swedes get it with their proverb, “Shared joy is double joy. Shared sorrow is half sorrow”
Don’t tell me I’m resilient
Don’t tell our children they’re resilient
We’re all in mourning
Let us mourn
If I never hear the word resilient again, it will be o.k.
Dad, what's for supper? 
So true and not only in regards to this pandemic – why is it that so many people feel the need to dictate how others feel? “Authenticity” has been a buzzword for years now but I guess that only applies to things that are pleasant or edifying; otherwise we must be relentlessly cheerful,optimistic or yes,the aforementioned “r” word. The vicissitudes of life are worthy of their own emotions and the acknowledgement thereof. Thank you for putting it so eloquently!
Or in today’s vernacular “Thanks for keeping it real!”.
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