So they continue, college tours
This trip involved our heading to Mr. Jefferon’s academical village, his words, not mine
Located in the rolling hills of Charlottesville in Albemarle County, Virginia, UVA is in her bicentennial year, still basking in its men’s basketball national championship. Damnit
Wa
Hoo
Wa
(But, really, Go Tar Heels!)

And, we’re off
Up and at ’em to C’ville by 7 a.m.
Seven hours in the car
Stop north of Fayetteville, NC, for gasoline where there’s a family eating Subway a little after 10 in the morning
Lunch discussions
“I don’t care where we eat, but not there”
So, as we pass through Wilson and Rocky Mount in North Carolina, no decision as to lunch
So, as we pass through Emporia and Petersburg in Virginia, no decision as to lunch
Then, we stop at the most crowded Chic Fil A in the world in Colonial Heights, VA
Sic Semper Tyrannis
We’re actually still stuck in that parking lot to this day
On up I95 to VA 288, which is an amazing way to get around Richmond
As we peel off, we see a wreck immediately to the north
Richmond traffic always stinks
We cross over the James River, into the rolling hills of the edge of the Valley
Ancestral lands for me and my bride and our Yancey, Coyner, Randloph, Isham, Perrin, Clopton, Hopkins, Flowerdew, Via, Maupin, West, De La Warr, Yeardley, Crowshaw kinfolk
Not the slightest interest from the children in tales of same as we pass the exit for Manakin where our Virginia Huguenots settled
“Anyone want to stop and see?”
“Um….only you, Dad”
Press on to Charlottesville
Off of I64 at the Monticello/Charlottesville exit
Through Belmont and Fifetown off of Monticello Ave
At a stop light on the way into town, I look over and see a barbershop
“Look, y’all. It’s the barber of C’ville”
Dad jokes
No one laughs
To parking garage and the Downtown Mall where I don’t think I lost anything, even in the cool used bookstore
Back in the car and over to the University and the Central Grounds Garage and University Bookstore
Some UVA swag for everyone
“Really? A national champs t-shirt?”
Traitor
The familiar “V” in orange Virginia t-shirt
I think I had the same one 30 years ago
T-shirt with a picture of Edgar Allan Poe on it
Underneath his visage
Dropout
“We sell a lot of those, Sir,” says the clerk who sees me laughing
We stop by his room on the West Range
Then a short walk over to the heart of Mr. Jefferson’s experiment, the academical village itself
Ranges
Pavilions

A swing around the Grounds
The Lawn
The Rotunda
The West Range
The East Range
Serpentine walls
So much gorgeous brick
Sneaking through a garden behind one of The Pavilions
“Dad, you can’t go back there”
“What? Why not? The gate was open?”
You can take the boy out of Beaufort
“Dad………..”
“Look, there’s someone’s grill. It’s fine”
There’s a big police presence in town, even around the Grounds
It’s been two years since an ugly tiki torch crew marched through the streets
To paraphrase The Blues Brothers, “I hate Virginia Nazis”
A quick drive around town, down to The Corner and through a more collegiate part of the western end of Main Street neighboring the Grounds
Cohn’s on the Corner
Bodo’s Bagels

Coffee place based in Seattle
Mincer’s Sportswear
The Virginian
The College Inn
Corner Juice. Eureka! The juice bar spotted for lunch the next day, which will be perfect after our tour and before heading on up to Mr. Jefferson’s Little Mountain
To the Boar’s Head Inn, if only I could get there
Really
How in the world do I keep turning into the wrong place?
Ivy Road should be a straight shot
It’s not
Metaphor for life
So many U-turns, illegal and legal, made during the trip
It’s the leitmotif of the trip
The U-turn
Finally, check in
To the room with its own porch
Straight to the pool
The Adult Pool at the Spa that is due to a private function at the Sports Club
Back to the room for a drink and a snack before supper
To the Aberdeen Barn, the self-proclaimed finest steak house in Virginia
It has not changed one iota since I was there in 1989
Not one iota
Derrick, our wonderful waiter, has been there since 1981
The same famous cheese spread with bread sticks and rolls
The same salads with a trio of house made dressings
Blue cheese, ranch, thousand island
The same inordinately large slabs o’beef cooked to perfection
The same baked potatoes in foil jackets dripping with butter, sour cream, and crumbled bacon
The same decor
The same satisfaction after the meal
The same regret, too
Back for another lap around The Grounds
Everyone asleep by 9:30
The next morning, bright, early, cool
Reading on the porch of the room with coffee, no humidity, the mid-60’s
Heaven
Breakfast at the Mill Room
We will crush a buffet breakfast, especially with added waffles
We are a hominy people, but we love a breakfast potato, too
“I won’t need lunch”
“I’m not going to be hungry”
“Oh, I ate too much”
“That juice place will be perfect”
Famous last words
Back to the Central Grounds Garage and Bookstore
And, it’s the Grounds, not the campus
And, it’s Mr. Jefferson, not TJ
I was corrected
More than once
Sorry, I’m just a Sandlapper from the other Mountain of Conceit up here in Ole Virginny
We hike up Rugby Road to the band building
Forty-five minute info session from self-effacing admissions officer. Not all millennials stink
This guy’s really funny
He was proud he was in the Bob Barker Appreciation Society, which gathered regularly to watch The Price is Right
Wa Hoo Wa
Lovely young lady tour guide
Pre-med
Joiner of clubs
A wee bit of a signaler of virtue
Tour all over campus, including the Nekkid Room in the liberry
UVA is beyond pretty
Really
Beyond
Formally Southern
Formerly Southern
A little bit stiff because of it
Texts with one of our favorite UVA grads to ask about involvement with IMP, Z, The Seven with no comments back from said grad
We will study rings on said grad’s fingers when next we are together
I did ask the tour guide if students still streak the Lawn and kiss the backside of the Homer statue on the south Lawn
Her official response “No Comment” as she shook her head up and down and smiled
Glad some things don’t change
We veered off at the end in order to head on over to Monticello
We were expected for dinnah, served at 3 p.m., natch
I got the car while the family ordered smoothies from Corner Juice as planned
Up to the Little Mountain
Parking and jumping on the shuttle
“How many steps do we have?”
“Almost 9,000”

Walking around the house, down the Mulberry Lane, by the fish pond, around the Flower Walk on the West Lawn
Passing the air vents for the Privys
Mr. Jefferson was a genius
Taking the North and South Cellar Passages
Hangry
Combated hunger with root beers and cookies from The Farm Shop
Smoke House
Kitchens
Store rooms
Ice house
Wandering to the garden Folly where we sit with a breeze coming in from the North

In line for our tour as directed ten minutes before scheduled departure
Spying an older lady wearing an anklet
When in the course of human events we forget to have standards
We the People don’t look so great
At least she painted her toe nails?

Behind the scenes tour
Highly recommend it
Small group
More time
A two hour tour
A two hour tour
Additional spaces to see
Up to the 2nd floor
Up to the 3rd floor
Incredibly steep stair case with 9-10″ risers
Form followed function
Mr. Jefferson never went up stairs
Stairs had no function for him
Everything he needed was on one floor
The stairs are so steep that only Mick Jagger could race to the top, according to local lore
On our tour, there was a fellow tourist with his hat on the entire time
Take your hat off, Sir
You’re in a sacred space
Wanted to say that
Didn’t
This was the same man who asked his wife, “Why do they talk so much about Sally Hemings?”
Well, Sir, if we have to explain, it’s probably better if you go on back to the hole from whence you crawled
Mr. Jefferson’s descendants are legion
White and black
It’s America
It’s the South
It’s Virginny
It’s similar to my family’s own history
So, let them talk about the Hemings
Please tell us more
Our tour guide asking where we were from
“Theodosia Burr Allston’s husband’s town”
“Well, how is everything in Charleston?”
I’m team Jefferson not team Hamilton
Jefferson’s bust continues to look across and down the Hall at Mr. Hamilton’s bust in death because, well, Mr. Jefferson was Mr. Jefferson

Up to the 3rd Floor
The Dome
The Cubby in the pediment used by the grandchildren
Mr. Randolph’s room on the 3rd Floor
Mrs. Randolph’s room on the 2nd
Cousins of cousins who slept separately
Yet, they had twelve chirren, so something must have been fairly cordial
The widowed sister’s room
Aunt Marks
Can’t escape her watching, prying, annoying gaze
Doesn’t every family have an Aunt like that?
Oh, and since we’re in Virginia, it’s pronounced “Oughnt.”
Not “Ant” like in South Carolina or “Ain’t” if you’re lucky
But, yet, the nearby town is pronounced Stan-ton even if it’s spelled Staunton
My great-grandmother grew up between Waynseboro and Staunton
There’s a Yancey Mills named for her people
As they say in our family, she was from Virginia but she never got over it
Take me back to Old Virginny
Can we even reference that song anymore?

So we bid adieu to our distant kinsman with whom we shared cousins but no direct blood, unlike those complained of Hemings
Back to the hotel after a stop for some major snackage
“We don’t need all of that”
Yet, we ate all of that
Dip in the pool
“I like the adult pool better”
Well, of course, you do
Back to the room for a quiet time
Weather is on point
Upper 70’s
No humidity
Perfect to sit on the porch and read
Except for the loudmouths two porches below
Loudest people on the planet with the loudest children
I can tell you each of their children’s food allergies
Of course they have food allergies
Time to clean up for supper since dinnah at Monticello never appeared
Leaking shower in the bathroom
Engineering will be up shortly
Not until after we’ve gone to supper, please
Mill Room supper
Same family with loud children
Wonderful meal with a wonderful waitress
“I’ll have the fish, just for the halibut”
Again, no one laughs at the Dad jokes
Because
He’s just fishing for something with them
Again, no one laughs
Back to the room where engineering has spread towels on the floor to deal with the leak

Jam up there, engineering
Jam
Up
No one sleeps well in hotel rooms in our family
Why should tonight be any exception?
Up and at ’em again bright and early
Breakfast at Bodo’s Bagels on Emmet St N by the 250 Bypass
“We got here just in time,” as Chad and Karen are wont to say
Down 250 to 64 to 288
Temperature climbs as we head south
A descent into hell
On I95 through Virginia, and North Carolina, and South Carolina
Discussing essays, short answers, the common app, direct apps, more standardized testing
I don’t think I ever discussed any of that with my parents since I was away at school
Stop for lunch at the Smithfield Barbecue in Lumberton, SC
We love a Smithfield BBQ in North Carolina
We love the people watching
“I have to take your tray to the table, Sir”
“Y’all need any mo’ tea?”
The “Blessed To Be Called Nana” t-shirt will be all the rage this fall
Spotted a Lumbee Homecoming t-shirt for the People of the Dark Water
I’m sure there were some Locklears, Oxendines, Chavises, Hunts, Jacobs, Dials, and Lowrys in there,
Back on the road
More talk of applications, deadlines, release dates, Early Decision, Early Action, schools without the Common App, what’s a reach, what’s a safety, disappointment in life
More talk of the Old Dominion as we cross into South Carolina
Dum Spiro Spero
Natives of the Commonwealth, and some pretenders, refer to THE University; not UVA. It is telling.
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I am neither a native of ole Virginny nor a pretender to be; so it’s UVA to me
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My mother’s poorly behaved Wheaton Terrier (terror?) is named Theodosia Burr Allston Duell (Theo for short) in honor of Charlie’s ancestor of your reference. Well, there is that. Also, I fully support and embrace your right to tell dad jokes. We dads must stick together in the face of our humorless offspring. Their turn in the parenting barrel will come, God willing.
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